Gentle Jesus, Meek and...Modest
I live in Southern California and now that it’s summer, a familiar problem has returned. The problem is immodesty and now that the temperature is rising, the problem is becoming more and more obvious…again. But summer or not, modesty has been a topic of concern for me during my whole life. For instance, back in the days when I was in Catholic school, modesty was demanded. At any point during the day a nun could check to see if I was obeying the rules about skirt length. I had to kneel on the floor and if my skirt didn’t touch the ground, I was given demerits. (Of course, as soon as the nun turned the corner, we all hiked up our skirts again!)
Taking a cue from my parochial education, perhaps now that it is summer, I’m tempted to think that we should install immodesty checkpoints at the doors of the sanctuary. Perhaps we should make up rules about inappropriate clothing and station a deaconess or two at the doors to be sure that the rules are being enforced…better also station one ‘around the corner’ for when the young girls hike their skirts up again!
On the other hand, perhaps we should just ignore the whole immodesty problem all together because after all, “God looks on the heart…” And our pastors and brothers will just have to learn to look only at a woman’s face.
Rules? No rules? Is there a better way? Is it found in the gospel?
Hebrews 4:15 informs me that my Savior has been tempted in “every respect” as I have, yet without sin. Could this possibly mean that Jesus was tempted to immodesty but didn’t sin? Because we don’t usually think in these terms about Jesus, perhaps at this juncture it might be helpful for me to define what I mean by “modesty.” Christian modesty is simply a refusal to show off out of love for God and one’s neighbor. Jesus refused to show off His power. For instance, when tempted by Satan, He refused to show off His ability to turn stones into bread or cast Himself off a high tower (Matt 4:1f). When attacked by His accusers, He “opened not His mouth” (Isa 53:7). When facing the humiliation and excruciating pain of the cross, He refrained from appealing to His Father for legions of angels who were waiting to bring Him deliverance (Matt 26:53). Jesus didn’t show off His power or authority because He loved His neighbor, His bride. Jesus was modest because He loved the church.
Conversely, immodesty flows out of the heart of a show off. Maybe we’ve worked hard at the gym or purchased an expensive new pair of jeans. Maybe we want to prove how free we are to dress in any way we choose, no matter how scandalous. When we show-off we’re failing to love our brother (and sisters) who may be tempted to lust or covetousness or sinful imitation. Showing off is a fruit of pride and love of self. Immodesty demonstrates a cold unconcern for the church.
The beauty of the gospel, however, is that it informs us about who we are and what Jesus has already done. While it convicts us that we’re all unloving show-offs (in some way), it also assures us that we’ve been loved and that we no longer need to show off to get other people’s approval because (here’s the best news of all!) the record of our Modest Redeemer is ours! Our identity isn’t wrapped up in the approval or envy or lust of others. Our identity is found in Christ’s life, death and resurrection. Christ is our life. He loved us and refrained from showing off so that we could be His and freed from the need to prove that we’ve got a great body or wardrobe or…because we’ve been lavished with His love instead.
Of course, in this promiscuous culture women (and men) might need to be taught what modest attire looks like and there’s nothing wrong with doing so. It’s just that the transforming power that changes a show off into a servant doesn’t come from rules about blouses or skirts. It comes from remembering the gospel and seeking to show Him off instead. So, let’s spend this summer talking about modesty…mostly His.
One verse I love that shows Christ modesty is in Phillipians 2:1 So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy,
2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.
3 Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,
6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,
7 but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.
8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
Here He takes the most lowly form, he clothes himself as a servant. He could have clothed Himself as something amazing, the most beautiful person ever, but becomes nothing. Amazing mercy and love that He did this for us and on our behalf.
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"But I say to you, That whoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart." - Matthew 5:28
I think there are some valid points here. I think that there are a fair amount of women that take advantage of the heat in the summer and use it as an excuse to wear trashy clothes. I also think however that guys are just as guilty of eyeing up women who are in a non-seductive sun-dress. I say this AS A MAN... who lives in southern california.. who's done that.. many times.
There's very little mention of the guy's responsibility in all of this. In fact, there's one parenthetical reference to men in this whole post. It puts all the blame on women. It's hot out. VERY hot out. People will dress accordingly. Both genders just need to be aware of how they're presenting themselves and how they're reacting to other people dressing that way.
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Thanks for your comment, Matthew. Thanks also for confessing your own sin and for wanting to share the "blame" with other women. I apppreciate your humility.
I agree that men need to be confronted, too. But the problem isn't simply with how men may respond sinfully in lust. It is also how other women treat their sisters by showing off what they can wear (and look good). Many women dress for the approval of other women without even thinking about the men (sorry!). Many women live for the complement and to have other women envy the way they look -- saying this as a woman who has done this kind of thing myself.
What I was doing was trying to frame the discussion in terms of Christ's modesty and encouraging all women (and men) to seek to love their brothers and sisters so much that they will avoid dressing in such a way that strong temptation to sin (whether lust or coveteousness or self-pity) would be an inevitable result.
Is this explanation helpful?
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Great post and very timely! Thank you!
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Hi Elyse- Thanks for this gospel-centered approach to modesty. I hope to be able to share it with my dorm friends this next academic year. I'm glad I found your blog!
Praise Him for such modesty!
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I loved your post. I think the practical struggle for many women is where those practical lines are and how they are defined by culture. Victorian England women would have considered us showing our knees in shorts to be incredibly immodest. My own dad would not let me wear sleveless shirts growing up. I have a daughter who is near 13 and I've been thinking on this topic a great deal. We explained to her why she could not get a bikini this summer for the pool. We were blunt with her as to what it did to boys and how that did not glorify God. She really got it and we had no argument from her on being modest with a modest two piece. However, on some other lines, I wonder to myself where the limits are and how they are to be defined in the culture we are in and with the faith we hold.
I'm very glad to have found your blog btw and look forward to backing up and reading more.
I was at the WDW conference this weekend and God used so much of it in my heart. Thank you Elyse for being his servant and humbly convicting women to think clearly about the gospel.
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Thank you so very, very much for this Jesus-centered, gospel-focused post on modesty, Elyse! This conversation comes up in my life, the church, Bible studies, etc...regularly. I think I'll just print out copies and put them in my purse--just kidding. You hit the nail on the head regarding the issue of show-offs. Seems like we're more concerned with how much of our bodies we can or can not show. But the real issue is more than what we put on. Showing off is glory stealing. I don't want to do that (and I do too much!). Thanks for a brilliant exhortation to my heart (and the hearts that will now listen to me spew about this!).
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I really enjoyed this article - been thinking about the subject alot myself recently. Love how the focus is on Loving Jesus and his modesty - we want to be like Him - he is altogether LOVELY!
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Elyse,.thank you!! I'm a pastor's wife in a small church in Wisconsin. Our womens ministry has tried tackling this topic using Nancy Leigh DeMoss's booklet "Does God really care what I wear?" But I had never heard it put the way you put it! So much of our culture is "ALL about me!!" What I have,...read about me on facebook,...etc....and we really should be boasting in Christ!! THank you for the reminder!
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Wonderful post! I get 'stuck' on this issue. I find that when I'm focusing on the immodesty of a woman's dress I'm not focusing on the condition of her soul or wanting to pray for her. I'm oftentimes angry that she may be a stumbling block to cause men to lust. I realized this past week that my focus needs to change in that aspect and I need to care more about her(whoever she may be) soul than I have. Thank you again for the helpful post.
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What a great reminder! Thank you!!
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Thank you Elyse! I see in my soul such an obsession with my physical appearance while at the same time I have, perhaps and probably only nominally, an overt concern with not causing others to stumble with the way I dress and the way I look. As a male this issue is seldom referenced in our direction, yet it is clearly something God wants to put on our plate.
How then do we steward a gift of physical beauty? Surely it is not a talent we are to bury? Are we left to conjecture as to what causes our brothers and sisters to sin? I know there are some things that are obvious in this regard, low cut tops for example; but what about make-up/hair gel/nice clothes? How shall we live in light of Jesus' words at the end Matthew 6 that He will dress us, and that beautifully (the lily's of the field, Solomon in all his splendour)? Whilst keeping it in tension with Peter's admonition to let our adorning be internal and not external?
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